Still reeling.

I know I said I wasn’t going to do this – but I will appologize for this post. It is all over the place, but then again – I am all over the place. But I need an outlet , I need support so here goes nothing.

Exam season is over – but I’m still reeling.

You know, no matter how many times you binge, it doesn’t get any easier  dealing with it :(. The minute I passed the last exam, I came home and binge. The trend continued every day since then :(. I don’t know why, I don’t understand. My body image is at an all time low, I feel disguisting when I work out. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me – everything was going so well. I had my diet figured out, my life figured out. Heck I was on a major possitivity streak not long ago. And now – I’m typing this while trying to figure out if I need to eat breakfast or not 😦

It’s hard because the moment I think I’m “fixed” I still realize I’ very much broken. I thought paleo was the answer for all my troubles and woas, and though it did help somewhat short term, things got out of balance somewhere. I am really fighting to stay on track (whatever that means), but bloody hell is it hard. Being perpetually hungry is hard, not knowing when to stop eating is hard, always somehow thinking about food is hard.

But toay will end, tomorrow will be a better day. Prehalps what I need is to be kind to myself for a bit – to show some “self-love”. I’ve been pushing so hard recently – that I have forgotten what it’s like to stop and just breath, just be, just enjoy the little things. So small steps, one day at a time I will restore balance back into my life.

Thank you for listening – I just needed to get that out there. Now, onto breakfast 😉


One comment

  1. Hugs. I’m glad you posted about it and then ate breakfast. Breathe. You know that the feelings pass and that the binges come due to stress and the years of restriction. Be kind to yourself, dearest, and remember that it is only one binge. You are more than the food you eat. You are more than the way you look. You are beautiful inside and out. Your soul is amazing, your intellect is formidable. Love you ❤

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