There’s nothing like a change of scenery to get a change of perspective. After a week of away from my usual work/school enviroment I have a much clearer vision of who I want to be, what I want to do. There are of course always vague ideas in the back of my head somewhere, but sometimes when you’re so close to the forest you can’t see the trees. We get so swallowed up by the mundaine that we forget how extraordinary our life has potential to be.
Now that I feel closer to total recovery (as much as such as thing is possible) then ever I feel like the world is mine – I have all the options in the world, all I have to do is pick and choose.
So here are my most recent epiphenies about my life:
1. I love my studies, but I don’t want to be obsessed with them. I kind of hate the pressure of trying to get perfect grades and be that A+ student all the time. I want to start letting go of that mentality a bit more and learning to let studying be a part of my life, as opossed to consuming it.
2. I want to work in my profession when I finish school. I don’t want to be one of those people that finish uni and with that paper in their pocket go on to do something completely different. I love the idea of being able to help others without being a doctor – and I’m willing to work hard to become who I want to be.
3. I love exercise, but not in it’s traditional form. I like moving, but the idea of being a personal trainer – not so much. Too many hours at the gym, too much pressure to be “fit” all the time. So what I REALLY want to do is get a ZIN zumba certification and start dancing again. It’s a long lost love, but I definitely want it back in my life 🙂 And if I can get payed for it (even if it’s just pocket money – all the better)
4.I want to get more independant. For a few years now because of my illness I wasn’t really able to trust myself to properly care for myself. But now that I’ve closed that chapter of my life- hopefully for good – I’m just itching to get my own space. Of course, finances play into this a bit – but if not this year – I’m definitely looking into the next.
5. I want to spend more time enjoying life, food and the beauty life brings. I don’t mind having to push through an exam session living on eggs and cottage cheese, but I don’t want it to be my life anymore.
6. I REALLY want to be able to help ED recoverers. Before then I also want to get fully recovered, mentally as well as physically. Then… I’m not so sure. Ideally I’d be a RD who specializes in treating ED’s, but till then I’m willing to do anything – just to let them know they are not alone and that life is possible – they just have to choose it.
On that happy note I leave you with a picture of my balanced dinner from yeasterday – it’s awesome – I know 🙂
That is a dinner plate mind you – stll have a hard time believing a ate it all (maybe a little embarressed too) but it was awesome 🙂