My healthy (not so healthy) diet

Can I hear a hip-hip hooray for Easter break!

Today was the first day of easter break, and I spent 4 hours working on a group project and then studied for an hour and then had an awesome run. Running and I go through phases , I love it or hate it, but today it was definitely a love thing, I felt like I could have run for hours, of course tredmill with no TV meant only 40 minutes for me, but it still felt good. Then I got home and veged out, did a bit of failed baking :P, and now I’m writing this post before pouring myself a glass of something and finishing my project.

I thought I would talk about something that I’ve been thinking about recently. Recently someone I’ve been emailing back and forth asked me for a link to my blog for healthy eating ideas. This led me to thinking how much my blog has changed – I haven’t posted any food pictures in forever, I don’t really blog about how/what I eat anymore. And here’s the reason:

I don’t really eat all that healthy.

My relationship with food has changed to the point that healthy eating is no longer the focus of my life. I try to eat healthy mind you, but food has become a means to an end rather then the end itself. Take today for example – I was working on a project at  a library and I had been there since right after breakfast. I ate the orange I brought along as a snack, and then 30 minutes later I was hungry again, but no where nearly done my project. So then came my dilema – should I make the long walk home, cook lunch, eat lunch, clean up and then go back (hopefully before the library closed) and try to finish my project or should I eat the wafle I had in my bag and use it to hold me over till I finsh and then go home and eat a proper lunch.

 

 

Before this would have been an obviouse choice – the perfect diet/eating schedule was definitely more important then the time I would waste walking back and forth just so I eat the right thing at the right time. But today food was fuel so I ate my “unhealthy” snack and ate a proper lunch when I got home. But the sugar rush I got fueled my studying plus a pretty awesome run, so I don’t think I made a bad descision. Now, I’m not saying this was something I’d like to do often – I need to learn to pack enough healthy snacks to last me, but this example just showed me how my relationship with food has changed.

Right now I am SO busy, that I often have to make due with what I have. The past few days I have been seriously ODing on cottage cheese and truffles (all your fault Andrea ;))  – because it just seems to be the only portable thing I can eat at work. And yes, it’s not the most balanced and I’m looking forward to eating some decent cooked meals now that it’s almost Easter. But in the end life> perfect diet- and I think that’s exactly how it should be.

That isn’t to say I haven’t been eating some yummy food from time to time:

Zdjęcie0045On a warmer day – salad with cheese, picked fish and yogurt dressing

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Protein pancake with quark and a banana

Zdjęcie0064Most of my meals are kind of – grab and go –  a boiled egg, deli meat and roated veggies

Cheesy omlettes

And lots of cottage cheese 🙂

So yeah that’s me now – not as healthy but a whole lot more chilled out all around. I think after Easter I might do a minor “diet cleanup” and try to focus on eating more veggies – but right now there’s easter and lots of chocolate on the horrizon. I have a feeling I’ll have quite a few more sugar fueled runs in my future 😉

Oooh, and in honor of my 3 month aneversary at a healthy weight I  got this done – and I absolutely love it. It’s a daily reminder of how  far I’ve come and how much I accoplished – and it feels awesome.

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Yes people – I no longer have a perfectly flat stomach and protruding hipbones. And that is ok because I am a woman, and curves are shexy 😉

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How has your eating mentality changed over time?

Do you have any tatoos?

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8 comments

  1. Oh my gosh, I LOVE the tatoo. What a perfect reminder of your ongoing strength and determination in fighting ED.

    I am so happy that you are beginning to feel free from your obsessions and worries with “healthy” eating. Through my own struggles, I’ve come to realize that “healthy” eating really isn’t so healthy after all. It is not healthy to make food the center of your life, nor is it healthy to eat only vegetables while denying yourself foods you truly want and love. In all honesty, it sounds like your diet and attitude towards food is becoming much healthier and normal (if there is such a thing). You’re truly an inspiration to me!

  2. Personally,I think that kind of lifestyle is a lot healthier than the restrictive diet most of the “healhty living” bloggers try and seem to stick to. You can be proud of yourself 🙂

  3. I love this, you sound so positive and healthy! I think that’s definitely the right attitude to have about food – it’s okay to enjoy eating but food shouldn’t be the focus of the day. I love your tattoo, what a fabulous way to celebrate how far you’ve come, it will be a reminder of what you’ve achieved for the rest of your life 🙂 And your stomach looks great: healthy, slim, and curvy!

  4. I totally agree with you, I couldn’t be a blogger who takes pictures of my food because people would see how little fresh food I eat! And in my whole recovery and disorder journey, I’ve never had a diet that resembled (even a scaled down) healthy diet – always been an impressive amount of sugar with little variety. But hey, it’s delicious and I can handle it and I’m living a (much much much) healthier life now than I was in the thick of it. Starting to make my diet “healthy” could have disastrous consequences for me, and I acknowledge that. So, give me a chocolate bar mid-day, I have things to do! Having an interesting live is much much much better than having a rigid one!
    Also, you have an incredibly intriguing face and such warm eyes.
    With care, Katrina


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