Operation love your body.

……

(I really have no idea how to start this post)

Ok, well let’s start by saying the body image has always been an issue for me. ALWAYS. Since I was a teen I worried about how I looked, I compared myself to my friends – their hair, complexion, body shape and the list goes on. I don’t remember being really happy with myself since age 11.

Of course things got worse over the years. Enter hurtful coments when I hit puberty and started putting on weight, an emotionally abusive boyfriend and ED and I was set w with enough negative body image Β for life.

I never ever felt pretty, or at least not for a very long time. There were times between the ages of 11-13 that I felt attractive at times, but aside from that – nope. Even decked out with makeup and dressed well I can’t help but feel stangly unattractive, like something just didn’t fit. Even when people told me I looked good I never believed them, i just thought they were being nice.

Being extremely skinny I never felt pretty either. To be honest in the past year my eating issues never really revolved around me being “thin enough”, at a certain point I could tell I was too skinny – I could just never stop, you know? I have actually sat in front of the mirror and cried at the sceletal figure I saw staring back at me. But I never seemed to have the power to stop.

I can happilly say that now I’m a world farther away then I was then. So much so that for the first time in a LONG time I have “fat” days. Β And guess what – it sucks! I’m happy my body has changed, that I’m filling out, that I walk around in a t-shirt and not have people stare at me because I’m sceletal. But….. there still are those little bits of my body I wish I could cut out and THEN I would be happy.

But would I really? The answer is – probably not because I’d find the next thing I don’t like to pick on. The problem is not with my body, it’s with my head. And untill I get things straightened out up there there’s no way I’ll ever be ok with things down here.

So I’m starting operation “love your body”. It’s a tough one, because I’ve never been at a place where I love my body, I’ve never really reached contentment. But the road to any accimplishment starts with the first step, I’m going to take that step.

So exercise no.1 for this week is: look in the mirror and tell yourself one thing you like about yourself.

 

Have you ever had or do you have body image issues? How did you get over them, how are you getting over them?

Name one thing you like about yourself?

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7 comments

  1. I love this idea ❀ I definitely have horrible body issues and sometimes I realize that it's more exaggerated in my head than anything else!
    I like my nose πŸ˜› I like the fact that it's a little pointy and since my face isn't too big, it sticks out a little…which is nice πŸ˜€
    P.S. Signed, sealed and delivered. Expect a little something in 6 weeks (perhaps in time for Easter!)
    When do you go back to school?

  2. Liz,I absolutely love this post! I can relate 100% to what you say: I never felt pretty being skinny either; however,at a normal weight,I was unhappy,too. Since I was kind of “used” to the pains of being ultra-thin,though,I was always afraid recovery and weight gain would only make things worse – definitely a totally ridiculous way of thinking,but I guess that’s what the Eating Disorder does with your brain.
    I will join the operation “love your body”,if you’re okay with it,and start with saying: I like my eyes and my long lashes! πŸ™‚

  3. This is such a great idea! I think a lot of people struggle with accepting and loving their bodies, me included. When I am feeling down on my body, I try and remember all of the wonderful things it can do and all the things I like about it. It really does help, and that’s why I think operation “love your body” is such a great idea! Mind if I join as well? One thing I like about myself is my smile and how it can bring a smile to other people’s faces as well.

    • I think I tend to focus too much on what my body looks like as opposed to what it can do. Focusing on that might make it easier for me in with the weight gain and all the changes my body goes through as a result, because now I feel so much healthier and can do so much more then when I was super skinny. It’s about time I learned to appreciate my body and I’m so glad you’re joining me πŸ™‚

  4. I love this idea, it’s so important to love yourself entirely, body included! I know you won’t believe me saying this just now (I’m the same!) but I’ve always thought you were really pretty. I fully support you doing this and I really hope it helps you, you deserve to be happy! I’ve had body issues for a long time too but I feel like I’m finally starting to be more comfortable in my skin πŸ™‚

    • Thank you so much! I do have a hard time with compliments, but I’m working at trying to believe them – even if I don’t really see in myself what others see in me.
      I’m so happy you are feeling better about yourself now, it helps me to believe it’s possible for me too:)


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