Thank you all for your comments on my last post. Each one of them made me smile and made me believe in my decision to keep fighting for health and happiness. I know it’s hard and there definitely are up and down days – but I believe that if I keep on keeping on and don’t give up I’ll get there.
Also thank you for not giving up on my blog 😛 I know there’s been a lot of negativity going on here recently – but I have a feeling all that is about to change. Heck – I’m determined to make it change. Yeasterday for my 30 minutes of “me time” I did yoga – and boy it felt amazing. Just taking those few moments to not think about work, food, weight, deadlines or anything else was a total lifesaver.
One thing that has been bothering me a bit recently is the fact that I’m noticing my weight gain. Yes I know I’m constantly harping on how much I want to gain weight – and I do. But there’s a few points in weight restoration that I’m personally familiar with. There’s the stage where you can handly eat anything without pain/discomfort, you’re never hungry and you have to force yourself to eat. Then you slowly start to enjoy food, your appetite comes back – but you’re still not eating enough to gain. That’s kind of fun, because you allow yourself to eat all this “naughty” food in order to gain weight, and you still don’t gain. It’s frustrating on the health front – but kind of fun, because you’re still in your comfort zone , because you’re not gaining weight. What’s hard is when you finally start to put the weight on. At first it’s usually like “Yay, finally!” because you’ve been waiting on it a while. This feeling can last a while, and it’s great when it does. But at least for me I hit a point where I start seeing the weight gain – and then things get a little rocky. That’s when I feel like cutting back all the “junk” and eating super clean again. And of course, if you need to lose weight this might be ok, but if you’re trying to gain – not so much.
So this is where I’m at now. I have a little bit of cushion on my tummy. Of course my constant bloat doesn’t do much for my self esteem/body image either, but I definitely have a little more there. Unfortunately my arms, legs and basically the rest of me is still ultra skinny but I now have a bit of a tummy. And yes, I know that logically that’s the first place you gain because your body is trying to protect your vital organs. But it’s still hard to push through this initial stage and get to the place where it all evens out.
What helps though – is for me to find some healthy role models to motivate me. Real women, curvy women, beautiful women. None of these size zero, flat tummied barbie supermodels. Truth is in my heart of hearts I believe women should have curves – and that’s what makes them beautiful.
Here are some more famous women that are my healthy role models.
Jessica Biel. To me this woman is an awesome combination of strong and feminine:
Beyonce – that woman has CURVES!
Another woman I think has an awesome body – Shakira:
I admire women that are fit, but I think right now healthier role models for me are not just women that are muscles with minimal body fat. In my “natural state” I have curves and I need to get into the mentality that curves are sexy. Cuz they are!
Just found this and loved it. Big butts rock!
Do you have any “healthy role models”? What are your tips for beating body image blues?