Hey, it’s ok!

I survived the weekend!

(Yeah, so most people reading this probably are scratching their heads at this point, but weekend is my 5:30 AM to 8 PM back to back class days, so it’s always a relief to get through).

It’s funny how over time, your perspective on things changes. In the past I used to think I was soooo busy, but looking back I am so surprised at how much more I have on my plate now then I did then. It shows that no matter how much you have to do you can still feel stressed and pressured, and you’ll always have to fight to make time for priorities.

Yeah, this is a lesson I’m still learning, particularly related to taking care of myself. This sounds really bad, but often times now a days I feel eating is a waste of time, and almost wish I could get by without it. Other days I just wish I could sit down and enjoy a 20 minute meal without the mountain of to-do’s knocking at my door. But hey – that’s life I guess.

But as I mentioned before being so busy has totally knocked my pre-determined habits and eating routines out the window. This is both a good and bad thing. Good- because I’m less obsessive, restrictive, I’ve been forced out of my comfort zone to try new things.  Of course, some of the good habits went out with the bad – I need to work on encorporating more variety in my diet, because the list of foods I can grab- and go are pretty slim at this point, epecially when I don’t feel like doing a whole lot of prep work.

And also I have to stay stress is affecting my eating habits. I was always one of those people who don’t eat under stress. Well, let’s just say that’s changed a bit. I don’t usually eat much during the day (unless I’m studying) because I’m always running around and it’s rare I get more then 10 minutes to scarf a quick snack. But once I get home after a day of work – I want to eat. It doesn’t matter if I’m hungry or not (usually I am though), but I’ve sort of made a habit out of it. And it’s not always the healthiest foods I go for. Actually, to be 100% honest – it’s usually on the less then healthy end of the food scale. Why? I guess because the evenings are the times I want to unwind and relax – although I usually have to catch up on studying/lesson planning till late at night. So what do I do to get those happy endorphins going – I eat chocolate, yogurt, drink milk (both of which aggrivate my stomach to no end), or go rummiging to the cupboards for anything that will tell my brain that everything is ok and I should be happy.

But night snacking in itself isn’t the end of the world – especially since I need to gain weight, and usually the foods I do eat are not that bad – a few squares of chocolate in the evening or a bowl of yogurt and fruit aren’t going to kill you.  I need to learn to make some smarter choices about what I eat, so that’s it’s not junk food or something I know aggrivates my stomach (dairy).  I realize that if I don’t eat enough during the day, it’s better I eat in the evening then not at all – especially since I eat around 9:30 PM and actually sleep areoun 12:00- 1:00 AM. Night snacking used to scare the heck out of me – but now I’m realizing “hey, it’s ok”.

I also had a funny experience with emotional eating recently. Saturday I had a massive test – everyone took 1 1/2 hours to complete it and it’s hard to call it anythis other then what it was – incredibly difficult.  I came home tired, hungry and in the mood to relax. One of my early morning classes got cancelled so I figured – why not go for it? I bought a beer, made myself a light dinner and thought that was it for the evening. I sat down to watch a movie with my brothers and then I got the craziest craving for chocolate. So I had a few squares. After the movie I still wasn’t tired (thanks caffein in the chocolate), but I spied the nuttella jar in the fridge. Up untill now nuttella – major fear food, but I was feeling a bit loosend up from the beer so I decided to have a little taste. Well that taste ended up being  a few quite a few teaspoons straight from the jar, at which point I got a stomach ache and called it a night.

But you know what guys – I woke up and realized “Hey, it’s ok”

No, I don’t want this to happen every night. No, it wasn’t healthy. Yes, I kinda felt yucky afterwards (talk about sugar coma), and I don’t feel like doing it again. But in the moment, I have to admit – I kind of had fun. I felt like – oh yeah ED – take that! I’m eating nuttella out of a jar, and lovin’ it 😛

Moral of the story – it’s ok to do “naughty” things once in a while. I think the media bombs us with so many do’s and don’t that we forget to just enjoy life sometimes.  Emotional eating used to be my worst nightmare – but to be honest, it’s not the end of the world. Neither is night snacking, or not eating a serving of veggie at every meal. Saturated fat won’t kill you, and neither will some sugar now and again. This might not be the most popular healthy living advice out there – but I feel like for me, it was an important thing to learn.

However this week I would like to focus on making some diet changes. For one I need to cut out milk and dairy in a major way. I love me some yogurt, and there are no dairy free substitutes available – but I am definitely allergic to milk (I break out in rashes and pimples, get horrible stomach aches and bloat like a balloon). I read somewhere that if you’re allergic to something, you tend to crave it more, which is definitely true in my case. I think I’ll still have a bit of yogurt here and there, and probably even some cheese – but it needs to stop being multiple times a day. Other changes I will be making:

– eating more protein – I’m feeling insatiably hungry recently – and I bet that’s why

– eating more healthy fats – possibly my sweets, chocolate and dairy cravings mean I’m not eating enough fats – bring on the nuts and nut butter

– try to eat more veggies (it’s been really hard recently, as my body doesn’t seem to be loving them, but I’ll make it work)

– focus on more nutritious snacks late in the evening

(Sorry this post is long winded and doesn’t have many pictures, my camera battery diet and I haven’t had time to buy new ones – but I will leave you with a picture of a scrummy snack I enjoyed recently)

Apples, full fat yogurt and peanut butter just basking in the sunlight 😉

Have a good week!

 Have you ever emotionally eaten? Do you cut yourself some slack about “unhealthy indulgences” every now and then or do you try to keep everything very “under control”.

What’s your ultimate comfort food ? To be 100% honest – mine is either a butterly slice of kanbocha with some peanut butter or on the more unhealthy side – a few squares of dark chocolate and some hot milk (soy or other).

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One comment

  1. Haha. Girl, you are not the only one who has eaten nut butter straight from the jar. 😉 I’ve found that sometimes doing things like that is okay. Sometimes a part of balance is not balance. (It keeps everything — balanced.) I really admire you for waking up and feeling that it was okay. That can be pretty hard for me, but I’m working on it. One of my comfort foods is fruit. Fruit and Dark Chocolate. Nom nom nom.


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