Because life is more than this.
Recently I’ve been doing some thinking (read: A LOT of thinking). I’ve been thinking about my life, my priorities, my goals – where I’m going with all this. I read somewhere that a change of pace+ a change of place = a change of perspective and that’s exactly what I’m experiencing. My time away helped me to completely change the way I saw myself and my life in general. And to be honest – I’m still trying to figure it all out.
The truth is – I don’t know who I am. I vaguely know where I’m going and what I want – but there are times I’m not 100% sure of that either. What I do know is that I want to lead a happy, fulfilling life. Seemingly “simple” goals – but they are the hardest to achieve.
One thing I do know is that being happy for me doesn’t mean wasting my time obsessing about food and “eating healthy”. I keep losing the balance between eating to live and living to eat. I do enjoy my food, but I don’t want to be thinking about it 24/7 , worrying and pre-planning the next meal moments after I’m finished eating or work my entire schedule around food and food prep.
Today I stopped to think about how much time I waste because of food – not the process of eating it mind you – even the prep work can be kept down to a minimum. It’s pre-planning it, going through the millions of options of what I could eat through my head, making choices about when to eat, operating on half speed because I’m waiting till the perfect time to eat etc. Today I wasted a bunch of time in a shop, looking for the best loaf of bread. This went far beyond the lowest calorie (which used to be the main deciding factor) – it was a matter of choosing the cheapest, healthiest, easiest to digest, most versatile loaf out there. Oh, and we’re not counting the time I spent browsing the isles food “window shopping” because I went to the shop hungry and couldn’t help myself. And then there was the other hour I spent doing virtually nothing because I was too hungry to concentrate on anything specific – but I wanted to wait another hour till it was “dinner time”.
I don’t do good with a lot of options.
Not that food “window shopping” is inherently bad (what foodie hasn’t done it at some ultra high end healthy food store), or holding off on eating in order to wait for the proper meal time to roll around. It’s about how much time it’s sucking away from my life for me personally. Those moments, seconds, minutes and hours are lost forever and I can never get them back. And at some point I might look back on my life and regret how much time I wasted on such insignificant, trival little things. And I don’t want that to happen.
Same goes with food photography. If I eat something especially yummy or make a meal I want to show off – I’ll take the time to plate it nicely and take a photo of it. But honestly – who wants to see a picture of the same bowl of oatmeal day in and day out? I know I don’t feel like taking the time out of my day to make my food look appetizing to a bunch of strangers who probably don’t care all that much about what I’m eating anyways. Sometimes I just want to eat, enjoy and not care about if I “got a picture for the blog”.
You know some people when they go through a period of intense soul searching they choose to fast something – generally it’s food or alcohol. It’s more of a spiritual thing than anything else I think, but the point is to clear your mind and allow you to focus on whatever you need to at that point. Well in regards to that I’ve decided to do a fast of my own as I re-think my life and where I’m headed with it. Since fasting food obviously has a different connotation with me then it does with most people – I’m not going to change anything in the way I eat. What I am doing is putting the stops on some of the other “time wasters” in my life – TV series and mindless internet browsing being the main ones. That being said I’m only going to selectively read blogs and comment, and I’m swapping out TV series out of my relaxation activities all together in favor of more mentally stimulating activities. I’m trying to spend more time with my family, or working on personal projects – rather then just sitting in my room watching TV, browsing blogs etc.
In regards to that for the next 21 days I’m going to change my style of blogging as well. I’m not going to do any foodie post, or post any food pictures. I’m going to blog about my thoughts, feeling and things that actually matter to me. There’s some place I want my blog to take people that is far beyond just talking about food and not so artistically photographed eats. I want to reach out and get a message across. I want to help people in whatever way I can by sharing my personal experiences and thoughts.
Also if I don’t comment as much on your blog – please don’t take it personally. I’m just taking a break from the unimportant to focus on what is truly important in my life and discovering what that is.
It’s a new turn in the road in my life’s journey – and I’m pretty exited about where it takes me. Hope you join in for the ride.