I’ve realized that my blog has become a ranting place for my slightly self-obsessed babblings, and I’m sorry about that. But this post marks a chapter in my old life and the beginning of a new one.
So today I signed the papers transferring me to a part-time study plan. Till the last minute I planned to back out – but having the support of my family and all of you helped a lot. Still not sure how it’s all going to play out, still worried about the future, but I’m optimistic as well. I know in my heart of hearts this is what I needed, and although focusing on health/happiness is a slightly foreign concept to me right now – that needs to change.
Although studying is great and I love it, I also realized that I’ve lost the ability to enjoy myself. I’ve lost who I was outside of the “student” status. And trying to be the perfect student is INSANELY hard. So turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms was the only way I found some sort of relief and escape from those feelings and thoughts.
Maybe I should have been stronger and pushed through – but I believe everything happens for a reason. It’s the end of a old chapter and the beginning of a new one, and whatever happens is gonna be great.
So for now I have Easter with my family to look forward to, as well as some much needed down time to re-arrange my life. I look forward to sharing it with you all 🙂