The conclusion (where I’m at now)

I’ve realized that my blog has become a ranting place for my slightly self-obsessed babblings, and I’m sorry about that. But this post marks a chapter in my old life and the beginning of a new one.

So today I signed the papers transferring me to a part-time study plan. Till the last minute I planned to back out – but having the support of my family and all of you helped a lot. Still not sure how it’s all going to play out, still worried about the future, but I’m optimistic as well. I know in my heart of hearts this is what I needed, and although focusing on health/happiness is a slightly foreign concept to me right now – that needs to change.

Although studying is great and I love it, I also realized that I’ve lost the ability to enjoy myself. I’ve lost who I was outside of the “student” status. And trying to be the perfect student is INSANELY hard. So turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms was the only way I found some sort of relief and escape from those feelings and thoughts.

Maybe I should have been stronger and pushed through – but I believe everything happens for a reason. It’s the end of a old chapter and the beginning of a new one, and whatever happens is gonna be great.

I need to adopt more of this attitude when it comes to myself

So for now I have Easter with my family to look forward to, as well as some much needed down time to re-arrange my life. I look forward to sharing it with you all 🙂

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8 comments

  1. Everything will work out for you, I know it. You are so very hard on yourself and deserve to get to a healthy place. I wish you all the best!

  2. I am sure you made a great choice! You may feel unsure about it now, but it will probably be something you are very glad that you did in the end. Have a wonderful Easter with your family!

  3. You did the best thing, Lovely. I had to drop out of a few courses in my last semester of my degree because I couldn’t cope with the work load while I was still recovering so I had to spread it all out into an extra semester. I can honestly say that it was best for me and it helped me to get the grades that I deserved 🙂

    xxx

  4. I am so so glad that you have been able to make the decision for yourself and I have every single finger and toe crossed for you that it all works out!! You deserve to be happier and you deserve to healthy and I think this was a really positive thing to do 🙂 I hope you have an absolutely lovely Easter weekend!


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