Crushed, but not broken

Dear self.

Today was a hard day I know. Today was a day you would rather curl up in a ball and forget, a day you wish you could just turn back the clock and re-do.  But you can’t and so you sit here, feeling lost and alone.

It started off in the morning with your crazy ED thoughts.  Your appetite has been off the charts recently, and  when you were still hungry after a hearty breakfast – you started letting those negative thoughts in. You shouldn’t have listened and given into their enticements – but you did.  You should have taken the time to fuel properly, instead of trying to skimp by on just the bare minimum. You felt exhausted the whole day, and the only real reason was that you haven’t been getting enough fuel.

Please understand intuitive eating doesn’t always work for you. Some times you need to eat even when you’re NOT hungry, even when you feel you don’t “need” to. It’s vital not only for your overall health – but also your short term concentration and focus  – as was proved to you today.

You didn’t go into your test fueled properly, and so although you really put your all into studying – it didn’t really pay off. And now you feel so low you can hardly keep your head up off the ground. You want to give into those negative voices and not eat, not sleep – somehow punish yourself for not doing enough, not being enough

. But I have news for you – you are enough. Your grades do not define you, studies do not define you, your diet or lifestyle do not define you. You are so much more then all these things. You are priceless just because of who you are and there are people that love you, no matter what you do or don’t do.

So take this lesson to heart and learn from it. Realize how detrimental those negative voices are, and determine not to give into them anymore. You may feel crushed – but you are not broken. This experience has taught you valuable lessons – let them grow you. And march into tomorrow with hope, with renewed motivation to take better care of yourself – because you are precious just as you are.

Always remember- failing doesn’t make you a failure. You only truly fail when you cease to get up and try again.

With love, Leelu




  1. Beautiful 🙂
    “Your grades do not define you, studies do not define you, your diet or lifestyle do not define you. You are so much more then all these things.” It’s true my friend, you ARE worth so much more! Sending hugs and love!

    • Thank you for this reminder! My hunger cues are so messed up right now it’s scary, but I’m going to just learn to “do what I should” instead of going by what my body feels like at the moment, and hopefully things will work out better.

  2. Beautiful. I love these “dear self” posts. They’re so interesting and so important to remind yourself. I can’t eat intuitively, either. Not without struggle anyway, and usually lots of help from an outside source.

  3. Our mistakes teach us some of the greatest lessons in life including things we didn’t know about ourselves. Way to turn this around and make more of a positive out of it than a negative. Keep up the optimism and don’t let little things push you down. ^_^

  4. My dearest Leelou, this post feels as if you are talking directly to me today and I want to thank you for it. It is as if our brains were in sync all day: from morning to afternoon. But you are right. We are enough as we are and we will keep picking ourselves up because that is true success ❤
    love you with my whole heart. Take care of that precious spirit of yours. ❤

  5. What a beautiful post by a really really beautiful girl! I’m sorry you struggled, it sounds like a really tough day, but I’m so proud of you for refusing to give up because of this one hitch. I think that your determination to pick yourself back up and to learn from any of the set-backs you experience is amazing 🙂 You are so strong! You are enough, in fact you are more than enough!! You are a wonderful, intelligent and beautiful person and I want you to remember that, even when it feels to you like the opposite is true! I am saving this post as a reminder for when I feel like I’m worthless because I have failed at something 🙂

  6. Hope you are having a better day today. I’m sorry to hear you had a bad one Monday but those quotes are so right, it’s what you do the next day, and the day after that’s important. It’s how you react to a bad day. And you react so positively in your determination to not let it carry on. You are such a strong person. Grades don’t define you – amen to this. I have finally learned that my degree classification will not define me, it’s only me and what I decide to do with my life that will define it. I think that’s a great message to take with you on bad days, weeks, months.

  7. Pingback: It’s ok | A new start

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