Control

So far this week hasn’t been easy…

… particularly the weekend. During the week itself I have classes and classmates to distract me, but during the weekends I come home to an empty dorm (all my roommates are gone for the weekend) and a pile of books and no idea where to start. I study from morning till night, and it still somehow never feels like enough. Then my mind starts playing tricks on me.

I’m sure all of you who have had ED’s know that stress is particularly triggering. It’s been like that for me. I’ve had a “fat day”,  a day I wished I didn’t have to eat anything because it was a “waste of time”. Yeasterday I had a near panic attack because I overspent the equivelent (or less) of $1.50  on food.  These feelings, although totally irrational, are very real to me right now.

But what I’ve realized is what it comes down to is me translating my feeling of lack-of-control over a certain situation ( in this case my upcoming finals) onto something I feel I can control (food, weight, the money I spend). It’s ridiculous really, but it’s what I do.

What I’m trying to do now is step back, and focus on the big picture. Overspending $1.50 really isn’t THAT big of a deal. Most people spend more then that every day on snacks and other random things they really don’t need. But what is part of the big picture is that I fuel my body properly to get me through the 5 finals I have next week.

I realize stress is something that we have all throughout our lives. There’s always a deadline, finantial tight spot, challenging situation we have to go through. It’s time for me to grow up, put on my big girl pants and realize that it’s not about control.

I may not have control over this situation, but I believe in my heart of hearts that there’s Someone much bigger then me who does. That Someone put me where I am today for a reason, and He won’t let me fail.

 

Do you have any good stres managing techniques? Please do share.

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9 comments

  1. Aw,I know how you feel,trust me. I am a “control freak”,too,and when the feeling of not being able to control certain things overwhelms me once again,I always try to to counterbalance it by controlling my food etc. . Of course,we all know that this is NOT okay though…
    I think there is no such thing as a “patent medicine” when it comes to stress managing,but I recently read “The Healing Code” by Alexander Lloydand it has helped me a lot so far. I’ve learned so much about stress,its sources and effects on the body,and as I began working with the codes,despite my doubts,I recognized an improvement. Now,I am working with the Healing Codes every day and truly benefit from them.
    If you don’t want to give it a try,maybe yoga is an option?
    However,don’t stress out too much because of your exams. You’re such an intelligent and smart person,you will do fabulous,I know that for sure!

  2. It’s so weird you should post this because I’ve been feeling similar lately. Bad body image days seem to become more frequent for me during stress too. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time and pray for guidance from the Lord. 🙂
    I know you’re going to do well on your exams, like Kat said, you’re a beautiful and extremely intelligent gal! Sending hugs!!

  3. I find that looking for anything to do that is NOT homework helps me relieve a bit of stress (it’s usually the homework that’s causing the stress). I take great comfort in grabbing a newspaper and doing the crossword and/or other puzzles in it and reading the comics section. There are plenty of puzzles and comics on the internet and if you search for a game or a book or pretty much anything that takes your mind off of the stress, it should help. When I have a “I’m feeling fat” day, I try to laugh it off, say that I need to gain weight anyways, and then try to occupy myself with anything – so long as it isn’t food related – to keep sane.

    Good luck with exams, it sounds like you’re going to do just fine!

    • I think it would really help me to remember to take a break once in a while and do something I enjoy. All my study breaks are always very “functional” (i.e taking a shower, throwing a quick meal together, washing dishes) ao I don’t really allow myself any time to “de-stress”.Thanks for your suggestions, I’m sure they’ll help

  4. Stress is horrible. I don’t handle stress well. Lately it’s been keeping me up pretty late at night and then I get frustrated and more stressed because I’m not sleeping and I need to or else I’m going to be very tired the next day. It’s a problem, but when I’m stressed I do one of two things: get done whatever work is stressing me out so it will go away and I won’t be stressed anymore or I go on Pinterest or exercise or read blogs or books or write.
    Good luck!

  5. For me it helps to have things kind of laid out in a “schedule” or like a to-do list. So if I know I have certain exams coming up, I give preference to the hardest or soonest exam, study but also make sure to include time to maybe just walk around a shopping mall or go to a bookstore… over-studying can fry your brain! lol. So remember to take it easy. But I think knowing that you have control over when/what you do is more apparent when you have it written down on a calendar or something?

  6. I wish you all the best on your finals, it’s so good that even though you are struggling you are able to recognize the trigger and reason with yourself, enough to stay healthy. You are so right, you may not have complete control over this situation but someone does and you are right where you need to be. ❤

  7. Hugs. Good luck on your finals. Try to breathe and remind yourself that sometimes we blow situations out of proportion: they are not always as big an issue as we imagine them to be.
    ❤ sending tons of luck and love your way.


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