Hey everyone. I’m here only for a short post, because I have loads and loads of studying to do before the night’s out. But my roommate kindly allowed me to use her internet connecting device, so I have time to say a few words to you J
First of all thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement on my last post. Really your support means more then you’ll ever know. There are times I really doubt myself, so it’s nice to know that someone out there believes in me, even when I don’t believe in myself.
This week I’m doing better – mentally, physically and all around. I think I’m finally getting into the “college lifestyle” groove and even though there is a lot I still have to learn, I’m doing better. I even managed a 20 minute run today, something I always thought was impossible due to my busy schedule. But more on that later.
Today was one of those days. You know, the kind of day you wake up in the morning with hope and optimisim. The sun was shining, it was warm(ish) outside, I had a yummy breakfast – things were going well. The first 2 classes were breezy, and I even got some last minute paper work done.
But then IT happened – the first event that marked the downfall of my day from good to annoying to bad. I mentioned this a few times before, but it so happens that I’m applying for a grant. But the lady I’m submitting my papers too seems determined not to let me get it. She’s sent me back for more papers time and time again, asking for little insignificant documents that take me a couple days to get. Not only that, but she’s rude, unpleasant and unhelpful. Today she demanded another obscure paper from me, and gave me till the end of the week to get it. Of course I was annoyed, because I was really hoping that after weeks of running to and from offices I would finally have this done and over with.
Then I found out that my internet at the dorm might not be up and running for another 2 weeks or so, due to a mistake on my part. Because I couldn’t stop beating myself up for that, I can a nearly impossible time studying anatomy. That coupled with insufficient learning materials and no internet connection made me feel totally and utterly overwhelmed, to the point I almost had a panic attack.
But then I realized that I can only do what I can do. Life’s not easy for anyone, we all face problems and setbacks. And truth be told – they’re unavoidable. So instead of stressing over what I should have done or should do, I should just do what I can.
I may not get the scholarship, because I can’t submit the paper work in time – but I sure as heck can try. I may not manage to get internet for a long time because of my mistake, but I can always try to talk to the IT technician and work something out. I may not manage to study anatomy to the point I can pick apart a skull and name every bumb and groove –but I can prepare as well as I can. And the rest – well I just need to choose not to worry about it.
Making this choice is easier said then done. I had to take a break from studying and go for a jog just to clear my head. I almost had a few panic attacks during the course of the evening just thinking about all I needed to do. But I’m trying to keep my head of straight and realize I can’t be perfect 100% of the time. And I’m the only one that sets such high standards for myself. So from now on I’m just going to determine to do my best to handle the circumstances life throws at me.
After all life’s not perfect, but that’s ok. It’s full of surprises, unexpected happenings and challenges. But honestly, would we want it any other way?
Thoughts on the matter?
Are you a perfectionist that likes everything going according to plan, or all you the type of person that welcomes surprises (good and less then good)?