(Sorry this post isn’t exactly on the lighest or happiest side – but it’s an important topic that I think everyone should be aware of. So once again sorry for the heavy subject matter, I’ll be posting something light and happy again soon 🙂 )
I wanted to share with you all something that happened to me the other day. It was a real eye opener and pretty scary. I’m hoping that it’ll be a sort of warning to you all not to be a dumb as I was.
This happened the day after my latest ED battle. I ended up actually going out for pizza with my friends and not working out that day (3/0 for me vs ED). Overall we had a great time, but lactose intolerance + cheesy pizza = a recipie for disaster. I was up half the night with nausea, stomach cramps and other unpleasentless. Needless to say I felt less then stellar in the morning.
For one, I really had NO appetite whatsoever. I’m really a breakfast person, so this was kinda weird for me. I didn’t have time to “wait till I got hungry” cuz I needed to go to work. So I ate a bowl of oatmeal as usual and was off.
My appetite returned briefly at certain points during the day, but the problem was that I was full after only a few bites of food. I still ate because I knew that’s what I should do, but again it was probably less then what I needed. I figured that after all the food I had yesterday this was probably my body’s way of “balancing it out”. So I wasn’t all that concerned.
I was a bit tired from my lack of sleep the night before, so exercise wasn’t a real priority. I did a light “workout” more to move around a get the blood pumping then anything else. I guess that was a good thing because that’s when my appetite sparked. So a hefty snack was eaten and all was well.
Well not exactly because I was going out later to meet up with a friend. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do – whether coffee or dinner – so I didn’t want to eat before leaving. But I was starving! Finnaly I settled on a tomato and left home.
Everything was ok till I got to the bus stop. I started feeling really weak and nausea’s but I figured that might pass with time. It didn’t. I almost got off the bus at the first stop, but I wanted to wait it out till the end to see if it got better. By the time I reached my stop I felt like I was going to faint/throw up. I barely made it to the bathroom – my legs kept buckling underneath me. I texted my friend that I couldn’t make it 5 minutes before our scheduled meeting time – she was upset to say the least. I wasn’t too worried about that – what I was turning my energies towards was getting home. Thankfully there was a bus that had just arrived heading back –so I hoped on that one.
The 45 minute ride was sheer torture. I was faint and in a LOT of pain. My friends picked me up from the bus stop, which was a life-saver because at that point I could barely keep my head up. I crawled into bed as soon as I got home. Thankfully I had enough clarity of mind to grab a banana and few crispbreads before falling asleep, although I barely had enough strength to chew them.
The next morning I felt much better, and after a good breakfast I was “right as rain” – well almost. I’m not sure what was wrong with me, but I learned that restricting is NEVER a good idea for us recovering from ED’s. Sure other people can go for days eating only a meal a day (I have a friend who does this) and binge drinking, or live off of apples and coffee for a week. It doesn’t matter what they do – we simply can’t. Our bodies have tolerated enough abuse as is – we need to be extremely careful of how we treat them.
Every time we move, ever breath we take, every bite of food we are able to eat and digest is a gift – our lives our precious and we need to realize just how fragile they are. This might seem a bit extreme – but it’s the little every day choices that affect us in the long run. This is what I learned from yeasterday’s scare and I hope you can benefit in some way from me sharing this with you as well.