2/0 Me vs ED

Hi Everyone!

Just wanted to thank you all for your awesome comments about my fitness regime. It’s great to know most of you share my veiws on the matter (maybe that means I’m not so whacky after all ๐Ÿ˜› )

This weekend I accomplished two things that to an average person might not seem all that exceptional, but to me they were a pretty big deal. Having struggled with an ED, there are little old attitude โ€œhangoversโ€ that creep up from time to time. Although I do consider myself โ€œrecoveredโ€ in a lot of ways, there are some things that still remind me of the struggle it was to get to this point.

On Saturday in celebration of the HOT weather I went rifling through some old suitcases and dug out some clothes I haven’t worn in over years โ€“ shorts, skirts and tight shirts. I’ve shied away from wearing these clothes for a while โ€“ initially because I felt โ€œfatโ€ in all of them, and when that was no longer the case โ€“ because they were too big. I pulled out a pair of shorts, looked at them like I would look at a well known opponent, and gingerly tried them on. And they fit! I waited for the floodย  of emotions to pass through me. I don’t weigh myself, I usually go by the way my clothes fit and the way I feel in general. So this was a clear signal that I had gained pretty significant amounts of weight.

But the flood of negative emotions never came. Instead I felt a sense of pride. Pride in all I had to overcome to get to this point, pride in the fact that I was looking better and healthier then ever before. Pride that the wholesome food I am eating was giving back to me my original beauty. My ED was silent and I was able to celebrate this moment as one of triumph. Score 1 for me, 0 for ED

That evening I attended a kids party as one of the organizers. After the party was over I was invited to sit down and have a slice of birthday cake. Along with that came a cup of a sweetened fruit juice. And this was no ordinary cake mind you โ€“ it was cheese cake nothing less. It so happens that cheese cake is still one of my ultimate fear foods โ€“ for obvious reasons I think. I here I was expected to eat it AND drink in more sugary calories after that. My mind went wild for a minute, then I stopped, took a breath and a bite. Then another, and another. And the world didn’t come to the end, the saturated fat didn’t kill me โ€“ I was fine! As a further test of my progress as I was eating the host proceeded to tell me exactly how the cake was made โ€“ full fat cream cheese , 10 eggs and a whole block of butter. Once again ED tried to speak up but I pushed him away and continued to eat the cake โ€“ just like every normal person would do. And I drank the juice too. Then I came home and ate a normal dinner โ€“ just like anyone else would do. Score 2 for meย  and 0 for ED.

ย 

I feel like these are moments worth celebrating, milestones in my progress till this point. There was a time Iย  could never imagine either of the above mentioned events happening โ€“ I felt I would never be strong enough. But I was and I am growing stronger by the day. An ED no longer controls my life the way it had, and it never again will.

So if you’re in the process of recovering from an ED my advice to you is – if you’re going through hell – keep on going! The beggining is always the hardest but once you get through that stage – that’s when your life really begins!

Enjoy the week ahead everyone, I’m sure starting it on the right foot ๐Ÿ™‚

Advertisements

8 comments

  1. Congratulations!!!!!! You made it, you won two really difficult matches and you did great! ๐Ÿ™‚ Way to go girl ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Congratulations. You should be SO proud of yourself. We all are. I love reading all your positivity … ed definitely will NEVER have that control again. You are such a strong person and you will definitely continue to win the battles.

    Have a great week! x

  3. Congrats, you should be proud of yourself! No one deserves to be restricted of delicious cheesecake. ๐Ÿ™‚ no matter what the ingredients! Health and happiness is more important.

  4. congrats! those are two HUGE steps forward. i think it’s so easy to base our self-worth or mood on how our clothes fit, how our bodies look, etc. but we are worth SO much more than that. i’m glad you got to enjoy that cheesecake too! i bet it was deliccciousss

  5. Wow you did great!!!!!!!! I got that sense of accomplishment when I fit into my old jeans for the first time. I felt SEXY again ๐Ÿ˜› I also love going to parties these days and being able to eat what everyone else is eating without having to worry about anything. It’s such a good feeling.

    You’re amazing, hun!!! You have made some HUGE milestones ๐Ÿ™‚

    xxxx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s