I can’t get no….. satisfaction

Happy weekend-end everyone!

(Yeah, I know there are probably VERY few people out there who would consider this a happy occasion, but let’s just pretend to be looking forward  to Monday- shall we?)

As much as I like weekends, I end up working “harder” on the weekends then I do during the week. There’s just all those little to-do’s that pile up during the week, and I always figure the weekend is a good time to take care of them. Then by the end of it all, I’m almost happy when the next week rolls around, because at least I have a set list of “to-do’s” for the day, and after that gets taken care of I am free to relax. During the weekend I ALWAYS seem to find more to do.

But here’s in short what I accomplished this weekend:

– went grocery shopping (twice actually)

– made home-made granola

– studied a BUNCH

– tried a new recipe

– made almond butter

– cleaned and organized my room

– cleaned and organized the rest of the house

– watched a movie

– did yoga

– walked a lot (gotta take advantage of the sunshine while it’s there)

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s pretty much what I remember :P. Doesn’t sound like so much, but somehow the time flies by. Not that I’m complaining, because I like being busy.

Back to the original topic of the post.

It’s weird, because today was one of those days I was INSATIABLY hungry. They happen once every few weeks or so, and never cease to baffle me. I generally try to eat intuitively and listen to my body, but these days honestly blow me right out of my comfort zone.

I woke up so ravenous I could hardly cook my oats fast enough. Snack came and went, and although I was satiated, the feeling didn’t last long. I went for a walk and by the time I got back I was starving AGAIN. So lunch came and went, and I got to enjoy one of my favorite salads (along side a wrap of course).

Yeah, yeah- looks like rabbit food. But it tastes great - baby spinage with shredded carrots topped with toasted sunflower seeds (served preferable with honey-mustard dressing)

I have this problem when trying something new that I always make far too little of it, and end up hungry a while later. I was trying a new wrap combination, so I guess I didn’t eat enough to hold me over till snack. And since I was making nut butter at the same time, snack was about 2 TBsp nut butter and some cereal with yogurt, banana and almonds. You think that’s hold me over pretty well right – the protein, healthy fats and all. Well it didn’t.

For dinner I made a chicken and cornmeal biscuit dish based off this recipe. It was really easy and tasty, and overall I was happy with it. I served myself a fairly small portion to start – mainly because I figured I shouldn’t need to eat more if I had such a big snack. Even my younger sister commented on my small portion, but I felt justified because “I had eaten a lot before”.

My desert was a new creation of mine – chocolate, almond banana butter. I ate a few TBSP as I was making it, but decided I needed to eat it on a cracker as well. It was absoltely delicious though – it tasted like a chocolate wafer- only way better. Yum!

But guess what, an hour and a half later I was still hungry. At this point I had a major mental struggle going on in my head, because I felt I had already eaten so much that day. My ED thoughts started to come in, and I just couldn’t decide what to do. I knew I was hungry – it wasn’t boredom or any other feeling, I genuinly needed food. I also figuerd that as much as I would have liked my small dinner portion to hold me over till morning, it obviously wasn’t enough. But I still had a hard time accepting and acting on that fact, Thankfully my mom was eating a late dinner, so I joined her and ate a bit more, along with an apple.

I’m not used to eating this late, so I do feel a little uncomfortably full, but I know listening to my body was the right thing. So often I try to fit my eating plan into the way I want it to be, as opposed to what my body needs it to be. I think I should be able to function off of X amount of food, when in reality I just need more. I sometimes compare myself to food bloggers or even the people around me, and try to mimic their eating habits. But that just doesn’t work. I am a unique individual and some days I just need to eat two dinners to make me satisfied 🙂

I must say though I think this is a very big step for me, especially considering how regimented my eating habits were in the past. I wouldn’t “allow” myself over a certain amount, and if I did I would experience overwhelming guilt. I still struggle a bit and worry if I’m doing the right thing in terms of giving my body what it needs, but there comes a point where I sometimes have to ignore what my mind tells me and go with my insticts. After all, isn’t that what most people do – eat when they’re hungry?

I am personally guilty of making food and eating into a science – an art I have to master perfectly or I might as well not do it at all. But that mentality is so absurd it’s laughable. It’s making too much fuss over a basic necessity of life, something that most people don’t give a second thought to. It’s good to eat healthy and balanced, but when it becomes a sorce of stress or anxiety because you’re not “doing it right” I think that’s taking it a bit too far.

Well those are my random ramblings for the evening. What did you guys accomplish this Sunday?

Looking forward to your responses. Take care!

 

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4 comments

  1. I think we can all relate to that feeling. I find that the best thing to eat when you are staaaaaaaarving like that is a bowl of oats because they actually tend to hold you over for at least 2 hours. It’s scary when you start eating outside of your regimented times but the more you practise eating when you’re hungry and not when it’s “time”, the easier it becomes. I was always sooo afraid of eating after dinner and now I pretty much do it everyday. It’s not scary at all 🙂

    I accomplished quite a lot this Sunday despite the fact that I’m still feeling sick. Most of what I did was trying to figure out how to plot some data that I’ve been given but I also found time to make banana brownies, go for a walk and do some yoga!

    Do you make your almond butter in a magic bullet?

    xxx

  2. I am proud of you! It can be both scary and very uncomfortable to eat later that usual. The ED voice can make up any junk and try to pass it off as a justifiable reason for not eating late. But they are all lies. I am happy that you saw past them.
    I want to throw something out there: I do not know how much fat you are eating these days (I remember you increased though). Maybe it is time for another increase? It could possibly be just the thing you need to feel satiated. I don’t know…just a thought.

    I hope you have an incredible week!

  3. I am the same way with being such a freak about my food! I feel like I must get in every food group and eat HEALTHY. It takes away the joy of eating, and it’s definitely helping ED get stronger :/
    But I’m trying to listen to my body and give it food when it needs it.
    For instance, I just had a snack. It’s 5:00. I had a 100 cal bag of popcorn. Still hungry. I wasn’t planning on eating dinner til at least 6:30 considering how late I go to sleep. So I had a pear with some cinnamon on top. 2 snacks at once- this is a big thing for me, as sad as that is 😛
    Anyway, good job on eating more dinner and the apple! That is great 🙂 Your body will thank you later.


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