Happy weekend-end everyone!
(Yeah, I know there are probably VERY few people out there who would consider this a happy occasion, but let’s just pretend to be looking forward to Monday- shall we?)
As much as I like weekends, I end up working “harder” on the weekends then I do during the week. There’s just all those little to-do’s that pile up during the week, and I always figure the weekend is a good time to take care of them. Then by the end of it all, I’m almost happy when the next week rolls around, because at least I have a set list of “to-do’s” for the day, and after that gets taken care of I am free to relax. During the weekend I ALWAYS seem to find more to do.
But here’s in short what I accomplished this weekend:
– went grocery shopping (twice actually)
– made home-made granola
– studied a BUNCH
– tried a new recipe
– made almond butter
– cleaned and organized my room
– cleaned and organized the rest of the house
– watched a movie
– did yoga
– walked a lot (gotta take advantage of the sunshine while it’s there)
I’m sure there’s more, but that’s pretty much what I remember :P. Doesn’t sound like so much, but somehow the time flies by. Not that I’m complaining, because I like being busy.
Back to the original topic of the post.
It’s weird, because today was one of those days I was INSATIABLY hungry. They happen once every few weeks or so, and never cease to baffle me. I generally try to eat intuitively and listen to my body, but these days honestly blow me right out of my comfort zone.
I woke up so ravenous I could hardly cook my oats fast enough. Snack came and went, and although I was satiated, the feeling didn’t last long. I went for a walk and by the time I got back I was starving AGAIN. So lunch came and went, and I got to enjoy one of my favorite salads (along side a wrap of course).
I have this problem when trying something new that I always make far too little of it, and end up hungry a while later. I was trying a new wrap combination, so I guess I didn’t eat enough to hold me over till snack. And since I was making nut butter at the same time, snack was about 2 TBsp nut butter and some cereal with yogurt, banana and almonds. You think that’s hold me over pretty well right – the protein, healthy fats and all. Well it didn’t.
For dinner I made a chicken and cornmeal biscuit dish based off this recipe. It was really easy and tasty, and overall I was happy with it. I served myself a fairly small portion to start – mainly because I figured I shouldn’t need to eat more if I had such a big snack. Even my younger sister commented on my small portion, but I felt justified because “I had eaten a lot before”.
My desert was a new creation of mine – chocolate, almond banana butter. I ate a few TBSP as I was making it, but decided I needed to eat it on a cracker as well. It was absoltely delicious though – it tasted like a chocolate wafer- only way better. Yum!
But guess what, an hour and a half later I was still hungry. At this point I had a major mental struggle going on in my head, because I felt I had already eaten so much that day. My ED thoughts started to come in, and I just couldn’t decide what to do. I knew I was hungry – it wasn’t boredom or any other feeling, I genuinly needed food. I also figuerd that as much as I would have liked my small dinner portion to hold me over till morning, it obviously wasn’t enough. But I still had a hard time accepting and acting on that fact, Thankfully my mom was eating a late dinner, so I joined her and ate a bit more, along with an apple.
I’m not used to eating this late, so I do feel a little uncomfortably full, but I know listening to my body was the right thing. So often I try to fit my eating plan into the way I want it to be, as opposed to what my body needs it to be. I think I should be able to function off of X amount of food, when in reality I just need more. I sometimes compare myself to food bloggers or even the people around me, and try to mimic their eating habits. But that just doesn’t work. I am a unique individual and some days I just need to eat two dinners to make me satisfied 🙂
I must say though I think this is a very big step for me, especially considering how regimented my eating habits were in the past. I wouldn’t “allow” myself over a certain amount, and if I did I would experience overwhelming guilt. I still struggle a bit and worry if I’m doing the right thing in terms of giving my body what it needs, but there comes a point where I sometimes have to ignore what my mind tells me and go with my insticts. After all, isn’t that what most people do – eat when they’re hungry?
I am personally guilty of making food and eating into a science – an art I have to master perfectly or I might as well not do it at all. But that mentality is so absurd it’s laughable. It’s making too much fuss over a basic necessity of life, something that most people don’t give a second thought to. It’s good to eat healthy and balanced, but when it becomes a sorce of stress or anxiety because you’re not “doing it right” I think that’s taking it a bit too far.
Well those are my random ramblings for the evening. What did you guys accomplish this Sunday?
Looking forward to your responses. Take care!