Oh appetite… where are you?

I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I’m an early riser. Always have been. I remember being around 9 or 10 and waking up every morning to watch the sun rise (in the summer mind you). As I got older (and consequently was allowed to stay up later) I woke up a little later, but not much.

The funny thing is that I enjoy staying up late at night as well. But try as I might I cannot sleep past 8:00 if I go to bed any time before 3 AM. It’s frustrating in some ways, because I never seem to be able to get enough sleep. They say I get the early rising from my dad (he wakes up around 4:30 – 5:00) every morning and the “night owl” side from my mom (she’ll stay up till 12:00- 1:00 AM).

Creamy oat bran with half a banana and figs cooked in, topped with ungodly amounts of cinnamon and delicious banana almond butter

In any case, when I woke up exhausted at 7:30 I was more then baffled. On normal week days I’m up and about by 7:00, no sweat. But today rolling out of bed was somehow difficult. Although that was not the strangest thing that happened this morning. Even stranger was that I had NO APPETITE. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, for a variety of reason (that I’m not going to list because I plan to do a breakfast post soon). Suffice it to say I truly enjoy breakfast and am always hungry when the time comes. But today I went though the motions of making my food without the least desire to eat it. When I finaly sat down to eat I enjoyed it, but I still wasn’t really hungry.

Snack time came along and I wasn’t particularly hungry either. But knowing that my brain doesn’t function good on empty (and I had a driving lesson I had to be in tip-top shape for) I grabbed something quick and set off.

Came back past lunch and finally felt the slight pangs of hunger. So taking advantage of this now rare opportunity to listen to my body I enjoyed my late, simple, but tasty lunch: chicken soup with vegetables, served with a side of whole-wheat sunflower bread and cottage cheese.

Folks all I’ve gotta say is that chicken soup is underrated. It is so amazingly low maintanance and it tastes good almost no matter what you do to it. It’s a win-win situation you’ve got yourself right there.

After that I rushed out to do some shopping and other errands in town. Still 3 hours after eating my apetite was stangly lacking. I WAS feeling tired and drousy though, so I figured it must have been due to a lack of food. I bought a quick snack to fuel up before rushing off to the afternoon-care center where I volunteer.

My stomach was NOT pleased with me though, and I had about 20 minutes of extreme nausea after snack. At this point I was really confused as to exactly what my body was trying to tell me, but I didn’t have much time to analyze it. Soon I was in a world of homework, tag and card games.  In the end I know eating that snack was the right thing to do, because I had the energy to play about 4 different tag games, something I doubt I would have been able to do without the extra fuel. Still the current situation (a.k.a no appetite) was baffling me.

After a brisk walk home I was kinda hungry, or so I thought. But after a small dinner I felt neither hungry, nor full.  It was the oddest feeling. I started feeling guilty, like I wasn’t inuitively eating and listening to my bodies cues. I realize though, that sometimes you just need to fuel your body weather you feel like it or not. You don’t have to overstuff it either, but skipping meals generally isn’t a healthy thing to do, right?

Around 8:00 PM hunger finally made an apperance (about time, wouldn’t you say). Actually in the past eating past 7:00 PM was a strict no-no for me. I read somewhere that night snacking would make you fat, so I was always terrified of eating at night. Now I’ve gotten over that fear somewhat (I know it’s illogical and unfounded) but I still don’t usually eat at night. I’m hungriest in the morning, and usually my appetite sort of tapers down by the time the evening rolls around. I usually stick to a nut butter/cracker combination, because I’ve noticed my stomach is extra sensitive in the evenings and other foods generally upset it. But today that just didn’t seem appealing. What did sound great at the time was a yogurt/cereal mess with prunes and almonds. It was delicious and totally hit the spot, but resulted in a terrible stomach ache. What?!?!

Dear body.

I love you a lot and am trying to take care of you as much as possible. But your recent behavior is making this nearly impossible. First you’re not hungry, then you’re hungry but you crave something you react negatively to. Please make up your mind as to what you want, because this is seriously getting annoying.

Much love,
Leelu

I’m feeling a bit better now, after a cup of mint tea it seems my stomach has made peace with itself. But I really dislike this current state of things and I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll feel better.

Do you occasionally eat when you aren’t hungry? How do you deal with a loss of appetite?
Are you a night snack person, or are you scared of it like I used to be?
PS: Thank you all so much for your comments on my last post. I really appreciated all the advice and will be putting it to good use when the time comes 🙂
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4 comments

  1. You sound a lot like me with the sleep. Both my parents get up naturally early – say 5 for my dad and 6:30/7 for my mom. So that might be why I get up early, even as a teen. I cannot sleep past 8 unless I’m up past about 1. So I’ve woken up at 8 and find out my friend has slept in ’till 1pm. I marvel at how her body is physically capable of that.
    To answer your question, yes, I eat ALL the damn time, even if I am NOT hungry. I don’t occasionally push through and eat when I don’t want to. Each and every day I eat – even if I’m full – until I’ve met my calorie goal. At this point in recovery, I don’t allow myself the option of intuitive eating. I’ve gotten very good at listening to my body, and after dinner it usually only craves a small snack (after which I’m SURE I’d be satisfied) but I tell ED to shut it, tell my stomach to make room, and then I cram another meal-sized amount of food down. It’s been 3 months, and I’ve gotten good at telling my body that I HAVE to eat. It doesn’t matter if I don’t want to. I have to. I try to tell myself, “Ok Bryana, you’ll eat xxxx today, because it’ll increase the chance of getting your period/you hitting your goal weight tomorrow. And as soon as you hit that weight and get your period, you are allowed to stop stuffing yourself and to eat intuitively.”
    Sorry for the novel Leelu…but I hope some part of it helps! 🙂

  2. Right now I’m trying to learn how listen to my hunger cues and it’s really difficult. I can’t differentiate between hunger, fatigue and thirst and I’m working on fixing that this week during spring break to the best of my abilities. I also have to eat when I’m not hungry quite often because of classes and while I’m trying to “fix” my eating habits it isn’t helping the case out. I tend to eat, whether I’m hungry or not, right before bed so that I’m not waking up at 12 in the morning with EXTREME hunger pains. I feel your pain and confusion and I’m sorry that a lot of my comments seem to be focused on my issues, but I’m just trying my best to convey that I can understand what you’re going through and I pray that you get through it as easily as possible. You’re doing a wonderful job as far as I can see from your posts and I hope that you continue doing so. I look forward to reading the breakfast post too!!

    • Don’t worry about your comments being focused on “your issues”. It feels good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this; that I’m not a freak of nature or something :P.

      Thanks so much for all the support and I hope that in you are able to learn how to listen to your hunger cues more during spring break.


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