Why, hello there appetite.

Ah, I love the human body.  So simple, yet sometimes so complicated.

Eating – seems simple enough, right? Like fueling a car, you put gas in and it runs.  But somehow for us humans it’s not that simple. Food is not only fuel – its a way of bonding, a way of dealing with emotions, a distraction, a source of pleasure, or a source of fear – depending on who you are and what situation you’re in.

Right now, I’m having a really hard time finding the right balance between eating to live and enjoying my food, eating healthy and occasionally indulging, exercising moderation and not restricting. To be honest, I’m kind of sick of thinking about this all the time, I wish I could just eat intuitively lie I could before all this crazy ED stuff started. I wish I hadn’t put my body through all it went through till now, so that it could actually know what it wants.

For the past few weeks my appetite has been through the roof. Pre-exams I thought it was a result of me studying so much and my brain needing extra fuel. So I fueled it and passed all my exams much better then I expected too . But did my appetite die down post-exams – not one bit. As a matter of fact, right now it seems that I am CONSTANTLY hungry.  Every hour after I eat a meal, I seem to be hungry again.

Part of the reason I no longer post pictures of my food is because I hardly ever actually eat just what I serve myself – there’s always seconds, or even thirds along with a bite of “this or that” involved.  Even when I try to plan my meals out ahead of time, by the time I do eat I am so ravenous I can’t bother to snap a picture – not that it really matter though – because I eat more/different food then what I serve myself anyways.  And it’s scary.

This has been me more times then I care to admit.

It’s scary because I feel like I’ve totally lost control, it’s scary because I am gaining weight and I’m worried it won’t stop. It’s scary because I’m craving foods I used to NEVER crave before (ham?!?!) and even occasionally foods that are bad for me physically (dairy). The health care system here is crap – so no doctor can give me any decent advice and a good dietitian/nutritionist is pretty much unavailable here. So I’m on my own.

But instead of freaking out I am going to examine the facts here:

1. I am still underweight thus my body needs more fuel. Gaining weight is good, no matter how “bad” it feels right now.

2. Being more hungry means my metabolism is revving up (also a good thing)

3. It’s a fact that my body will freak out for a little bit, especially since I haven’t been feeding it properly for almost 4 years now. It’ll take a while to figure it out – no use panicking about it.

4. Normal people also need to figure out what way of eating works for them – some people eat paleo, some vegan, some eat according to the RDA guidlines, others eat completly against them. There is no right/wrong way – and it takes time to learn what will work for you.

 

What is NOT working for me so far:

• trying to supress my appetite – restricting is NOT a good idea for me. My body knows what it wants and if I won’t give it willing – it’s gonna get it one way or another (i.e a binge)
• eating acording to a strict plan, or eating TOO intuitively. If I don’t have a general idea of food options I tend to freak out and eat everything in sight, and my life is too unpredictable for me to set up a strict eating schedule

So what’s the plan now:

I am going to exeperiment and find out what works for me. It’s gonna be a trial and error process I know, and there will be ups and downs. What I’m going to focus on is trying to eat healthily (at least to an extent) and let the rest come as it will. Right now is actually the best time to be doing this sort of thing – because I can afford to gain a bit, so if I do – no big deal. Later on this might be a whole lot harder, if I’m worried about gaining weight.

So as of tomorrow I’m going to amp up my protein and fat content (including the animal protein there) and see what that does for my satiety levels (something ala paleo style- without all the crazy restrictions). Stay tuned

 

Any thoughts? Advice? Experiences?

Things I’m loving recently

- NOT having to go to school this weekend.  I had the best sleep in all the way till 8:30 today. Woohoo

- Lazier than not breakfasts are going back in style (meaning that there are some days I have time for more than a smoothie in the morning). Still getting used to the whole “gluten free” thing (and missing my oats and bread) but trying to enjoy life through it all

 

 

Today’s breakfast – cottage cheese, hidden banana, yogurt and almonds/peanut. Topped with blackcurrent cam

 

- Carrots, carrots and once again carrots. They’re the only veggie we have in out house right now, which means I’m eating them like there’s not tomorrow

Belnded carrot soup – carrots, chickpeas, curry and ginger

Carrot smoothie – carrots, protein powder, soy milk and cinnamon – simple but satisfying

 

Sometime the best things happen when you just turn on the blender, thrown in a bunch of ingredients and hope fot the best, This protein “pudding” was totally accidental but totally delicious – carrot cake, soy milk, a few teaspoon yogurt, protein powder and chickpeas. Topped with yogurt and PB. I will be trying to make this again

- Non-school related books. I went to the library to return my MASSIVE biochem books (so glad that’s behind me) and came back with 4 more. I was like a kid in a candy shop, I could have stayed there for hours. What can I say – I love to read

- Bonding with my family – we’re a loud, noisy and sometimes annoying bunch, but I love them just the same.

 

What are three things you’re loving this weekend?

A little vent

A feel like venting just a little.

Why the heck is finding balance so hard to come by? Why can’t food and exercise just be food and exercise anymore? Why is there so much complication in just living life.

Looking back on 2012 I see a lot of changes in my mentality regarding food. I started off the year eating 100% clean – loads of grains, beans, veggies. Slowly I relapsed and although I was still eating the same foods more or less – I was eating way too little of them. Then my digestive system practicaly gave out, so I was happy to get anything down – candy bars, ice-cream included. Beans and veggies were too hard on my GI tract – so my 7-8 a day dwindled down to 3-4 a day. This resulted me in having a much healthier attitude towards “junk food”, and althogh I still felt a bit guity at times, I realized that without food – any food- I was going to die.

I used to have time to put effort into food like this:

 

 

 

So in short I finaly did it- I let go of the control I have over my eating habits. And then the emotional eating started, the junk food cravings, the roller coaster of stomach issues from eating too much/not enough. Christmas was awesome  in that sense actually – I’m not sure if it was the combination of being away from home, being away from a stressful enviroment, being finnaly happy – but I struck a good balance. I indulged, but I enjoyed. I ate in a way that made me feel good, I wasn’t obsessing about food anymore, I was at peace with myself and food. Then I came home and the stress of exams threw everything out of whack again. And I’m still reeling to be honest.

I do so many things wrong – I eat quite a bit of junk, I eat too fast, I don’t put enough thought into what I’m putting in my body. Really, I just can’t be bothered anymore. I’m tired of caring! And yet….. my body cares. I’m currently perpetually fatigued, in pain and having bad skin. But I don’t want to obess about food the way I once did – I just want to be healthy – is that really so hard.

random dinner – eggs, chickpea and cabbage stir fry with rice

 

Sigh… I know recovery is a roller coaster ride that takes years. But I’m kind of sick of this ride and would like to be back on my own two feet again and making my way forward in life. Some day…….

I guess having tummy troubles has a few upsides – been doing a lot of smoothie loving recently. This is a green smoothie with soy milk, apple, protein powder, spinach and peanut butter .

How do you find the balance between healthy/obsessive?

Where’s Waldo

I just seem to looove the dissapearing act – don’t I?

But this time it’s with good reason – I’m on vacation!

My friends abroad invited me over to their place for Christmas. Since I haven’t seen them in a little over 2 years I jumped at the chance. Till the last minute I wasn’t sure if it was gonna work out, which is why I didn’t brag about it. But on the 18th at 4:00 Pm I hoped on the bus and made the 14 hour trip to Czech Republic

Of course, like any trip it wasn’t completely uneventful. I had to wait for 2 hours in the freezing cold (- 10) till 1 AM because the bus was delayed and the terminal was closed. You know, how they always tell you to “imagine” it’s warm and apparently it’s supposed to make it better – well it doesn’t. I was pretty sure if I had waited another hour I would have died from the cold. But thankfully the bus arrived and everything was ok.

I arrived just in time for my 20th birthday Honestly I didn’t do anything too spectacular – I was too tired. Me and a friend of mine just spent the day lazing around and catching up, and in the evening we watched a movie and drank a few too many glasses of wine. Good times.

And so now I’m sitting with my laptop in the living room in front of the fireplace, sipping hot cocoa and enjoying life.  One of the most encouraging things about this trip so far has been all the compliments I’m getting on my looks – it’s awesome and makes me feel amazing. And my Christmas diet philosophy is working out well so far. I’ve already been out to eat twice, and pushed way out of my comfort zone. But I’m coping, managing, enjoying and not letting ED ruin this holiday for me.

So yeah, that’s a quick update from me. I’ll try to take some pics and post them later on, but we’ll see when that is. Right now I want to enjoy this time with my friends and the people I’m close too  and I’ll blog when I feel like it, and won’t when I don’t. Fair enough ?

And guess who is WAAAAY behind on her Christmas challange. It’s time to do some catching up.

Real or artificial tree – definitely real. And I’m definitely going to have one this year – because my friends live close to a forest and generally like chopping down their own. Theres just something magical about that pine smell

Best gift I’ve ever given. I don’t really know (this is a hard one) but a gift that’s definitely very memorable for me was the Christmas I made a “cookbook” for my brother who loves to cook. I got a notebook and just wrote out all our favorite recipies by hand. It took forever, but he still has that little notebook to this day so it was worth it. Some times homemade gifts are the best, because they are the one’s you put the most love into.

Hardest person to buy for. My dad – no quiestions asked. He likes practical presents, but he always seems to have everything he needs. So every year I’m absolutely stumped at what to get him and never seem to find the “right thing”.

Post a picture of a old Christmas card. Sorry, don’t have one . We traveled around too much for me to ever hang onto one for any length of time. But here’s a picture courtesy of google.

When do you open gifts? Christmas Eve. It’s a European thing

Favorite stocking stuffer – I don’t even know what that is

Favorite Christmas meal. We tend to eat something different every year, so it’s hard for me to pick one. But if I had to pick something traditional it would be dumplings with mushrooms (uszka) or gnocchi in a sweet poppy seed and butter sauce. Oooh, and my dad’s cheese cake.

 

Do you travel on the holidays? Well I sure am this year.

Alright cach ya’ll later. Enjoy the last few days before Christmas.

What’s your favorite holiday meal?

 

My Christmas diet philosophy

Hi guys.

Whew , what a Saturday. We had our biochem final today, which ended up being a two in one deal. We had just finished writing one test when our professor pulled out an extra one – as a Christmas present . I studied hard, but I’m pretty sure I failed one if not both – but I’m refusing to worry about that now

On a completly unrelated note , I know I haven’t done a “foodie” post here in a while but that’s because I’ve been having a funny sort of relationship with it recently. I’ve been trying to figure out the cause of my stomach pains by eliminating different things, at some point saying “Screw it all” and eating tons of junk food, or just refusing to think about it all together. I’m at a point right now where I’m just sick and tired of it all,  I actually seem to have a kind of personal vendeta against food so I don’t put much thought into it. I don’t plate it nice, I eat and go on with my day. This less obsessive approach is working well for me so far, but it doesn’t result in very many food pics.

Peanut butter hummus with quark and apples/carrot

Rice cakes, cheese, eggs, refried beans, spinach

Quark, almonds, honey, yogurt, banana

Eggs, cheese, veggie bowl

Oat bran, almonds, cherry preserves

See – it’s really been nothing exiting round these parts

Currently, I’m finding that beans/grains seem to agrivate my stomach issues (that coupled with overdoeses of dairy). As a result day to day staples are : eggs, green smoothies, banana’s, apples and other fruit, peanut butter, nuts, vegetables (potatoes, greens and other) eggs, fish, and occasionally meat (although I still really can’t stand the taste, so this happens once in a blue moon). So as you can see, nothing too exiting to post on a day to day basis.

However the holiday’s are approaching, and honestly Christmas is in a large part about the food. Anyone who has ever had any food issues knows that Christmas can be a difficult time. And I’m no exception. Sure, I’ve made loads of progress during the last years – but this year I want it to be better then ever (more on why later). I’m so sick and tired of food issues ruining my Christmases, so I’ve decided to do something about it.

I love practically all things Christmas – but what I don’t love is the all the diet hype in the media during Christmas time. I honestly HATE all the “How not to gain weight over the holiday” or “10 foods you should avoid this holiday season”. Christmas comes once a year – and because of that I think it’s important to focus on enjoying the things that come with it – family and friends, old traditions, and some extra treats. And if you gain a little weight – so what?! If you don’t need it – you’ll lose it later on in the year, and if you need it (like me) then good for you. No need to freak out and obsess about eating the “right foods” and ruin your holidays (believe me, I’ve done this once too often and it’s NO fun).

So here’s my diet philosophy for this year – enjoy your food. Since I’ve been struggling a bit with binging recently the element of “balance” and “moderation”  are sometimes lost. Also my still unresolved stomach issues add a whole other level to the issue But I don’t want the fear of overeating to stop me from enjoying the holiday treats. So I’ve decided this year I’m going to focus on ENJOYING everything. No mindless eating, no binging, no restricting. I will eat what I want, when I want and really savor the process. Christmas only comes once a year – and  the food involved is not just something we eat, it’s  a way we  bond with those close to us, it’s tradition, its a whole set of fond memories that can last forever. And I’m not going to let some silly stomach issues or ED reminants steal that away from me.

Ok, it’s getting late and I gotta hit the sack – it’s a working day for me tomorrow and some pretty hectic days ahead (more on that later, so stay tuned )

What are your thoughts on the issues of the Holidays/food?

Thankful

I know thanksgiving was yesterday – but for some reason today I find myself sitting here, thinking about all the things I have to be thankful for. So here goes:

- For the past 2 days of no stomach pain. They say you can’t appreciate health, unless you’ve been sick. I’ve had such a rough 2 weeks or so, that right now I’m so thankful for being able to function normally pain free.

- For good food. Recently food and I have had a love/hate relationship. I loathed meal times because it seemed that no matter how hard I tried – I could never get it right. I either ate too much, or too little, or the wrong types of foods, or something. But I realized – hey I should be thankful I even have food to eat – some people don’t have that luxury.

My recent foodie loves

 

 

- For my body. I’m having a few body issues recently (gaining 5 kg does change your body a bit), but I’m thankful for the fact that I’m feeling better, that I can work and do the things I need to. And even if my body doesn’t look exactly the way I want it to, there are still a lot of good things about it

- For work. Yes my schedule is hectic and I feel like I can’t manage everything at times. But I’m thankful in times like these I can work and do my part to save up towards my studies.

- For my studies. That I get to study something I’m interested in and passionate about. It’s not all downhill, but it’s great to be working towards a future in doing something you love.

One of my uni’s faculty buildings

- For the holiday season and all the joy it brings with it  - the lights, the music, the family atmosphere, my birthday ;P

- For all of you who are one of the best support systems I have. You guys are the best!

What are you thankful for?

What’s your favorite part of the Christmas season? For me it’s a tie between the Christmas music and the lights. I LOVE them both

10 things you should know about me

HI guys.

Thanks so much for all your support on my last post. I know I sound like a broken record, but it feel amazing to have a support system like all of you guys behind me when I don’t feel strong enough. Seriously you guys rock.

Since my last few post have been of the “heavier” variety I thought I’d do one that’s just for fun. So here’s 10 things you should know about me.

I am obsessed with pumpkin- for real. And this isn’t just sugar pumpkin – this is anything of the winter squash variety. When I have a roasted pumpkin it doesn’t last longer then 2-3 days , tops. I think the amounts I eat it in should count as a binge – but hey, I don’t care. For me it’s the ultimate, tasty comfort food (especially topped with PB or yogurt) and it goes well with my stomach, so that’s a double plus for me.

Most recent favorite snack- 1 cup blended pumpkin with a splash of soya milk and vanilla protein powder. Makes a thick “pudding” that is oh so good.

Funny story, the other day I told my mom I was going to buy myself a treat at the store. I think she was thinking something along the lines of chocolate, because you should have seen her face when I came back with a pumpkin. Yes, I have a pumpkin and it’s all MINE

 

I love eating breakfast out of mugs. Be it oatmeal, oat bran, cold cereal or pumpkin – I have a favorite cup that I always eat out of.  I don’t know why I enjoy it so much, it must be  the kid in me speaking up again

 

 

I often prefer snack plates to meals. I’m a super indesisive person so I hate “commiting” to one big meal. I’d prefer to eat multiple times a day a few different things then sticking to one dish (although there is something to be said for a hot, home-cooked family dinner).

 

I’m obsessed with yogurt. It’s so bad for me, but so good for me. Recently, to bulk up the protein content of my meals I’ve been eating it mixed with a scoop of vanilla protein powder – yumminess.

 

I used to hate peanut butter. No kidding. It wasn’t even a fat thing at the time (I had no issues with almond butter), I just didn’t like the taste. But once I figured out how to make my own, and adding in the fact that peanuts are cheaper the almonds I determined to start eating it. At first it was a teaspoon every few days, then every day, then a table spoon a day. Now it’s more like 2-3 a day. I actually need to start varying up my nuts and seeds diet a bit – because it’s become a little peanut butter obsessed.

My favorite dessert of the moment is a middle eastern/ eastern european dessert called Halva. It’s ultra sweet, creamy, high calorie deliciousness. When given a choice it’s a tie between that and dark chocolate. Right now I’m sitting here absolutely stuffed and I still found space for the peice my sister offered me

I <3 leftovers, especially if I wasn’t the one cooking in the first place . Do you ever find that food tastes 100% better cooked by someone else? I don’t know about you, but sometimes if I spend hours slaving away in the kitchen the final product doesn’t taste as good as it would have if someone else was doing the work.

Potato/cheese gnocchi sprickled with sugar and cinnamon with a side of squash and spinach.

I’m ultra motivated to push for weigh gain again. I have been trying and making progress, but I’m not pushing as hard as I should. Today I’ve been back on track, and boy is it rough (my stomach is currently freaking out on me). But I keep reminding myself that slow and steady will everntually win the race, and this too will pass. Just wish someone could tell me what was wrong with me though

 

What’s your favorite dessert of the moment?

Obsessed with a type of food?

I’m ok.

Ok, before I say anything else.

Thank you all so so so much for commenting on my last post. It’s an issue that I’ve struggled with for a while now and that I was really ashamed of, so to hear that most of you have gone through the same thing was like a massive weight being lifted off my shoulders. All of a sudden I realized I wasn’t a “freak” and the heck – if others have been through this and come out ok, so can I.

 

I’ve read each one of your comments and taken them all to heart. Each comment brought out a different aspect of the situation I’m in, and each word of advice was helpful. I’ve spent a few nights reevalating my eating habits, my recovery efforts etc. and I’ve come to some realizations.

 

1. I tend to use food as a coping mechanism – no doubt about that. It’s not that this in itself is such a bad things – it’s just that it doesn’t work for me. So I overdo it and crash and burn at the end. One day when I was feeling stressed and munchie I decided to do yoga instead and afterwards had a proper snack. All binge urges went away and I realized how much of a mind game this all is.

 

2. I don’t eat enough. Plain and simple. Sure, I’ve gained over the last few months – but I have more to go. And often I don’t have time to eat, or skip eating for convenience sake, or don’t eat enough proper food. So binging is a biological response for me under eating and my body screaming “Please feed me!!!”

 

3.  Binging will happen during recovery. Apparently, according to some research I’ve done – it’s normal and happens to most people who have been severely underfed and are underweights. It’s your bodies way of  making sure you get enough fuel ahead of time, it’s due to messed up hormones (leptin) and lots of other causes. So extreme hunger is just part of the game when it comes to recovery.

 

So knowing all this now, what am I going to do about it?

Although I know binges aren’t all together bad and my body probably needs the extra fuel – it messes up my stomach so I can’t eat properly for the next day or so. So it’s kind of a 3 steps forward, one step back type of thing. While I’m willing to deal with it once in a while as a normal step of recovery, I’d rather it be a rarer then not occurrence. Right now I’ve upped my protein which is helping as well as PB intake. I’m focusing on eating proper breakfasts in the morning (one of the few times I’m at home for my meals) and generally trying to keep the right balance of all food groups. When I feel a binge is emotional rather than physical I’m trying to go out of the house and find other ways to de-stress other than food.

 

But the truth of the matter is – I need to increase my food intake. And I’m scared. Recently I never eat till I’m full, because I don’t know where full is – and I have a hard time differentiating between real hunger and psychological hunger. But I know I could do more, I should push harder. I also know a part of me is afraid of letting go completely.

 

Afraid I’ll never stop, afraid this will go on forever, afraid my body will freak out and I’ll be in horrible pain or that my eating patterns will never normalize. Afraid that one ED will merge into the next.  Just plain afraid of the unknown.

 

But recovery means stepping into the unknown. It means giving up control – no matter what the cost. It means being willing to sacrifice for health, it means giving it a priority in your life. It means pushing forward.

But am I brave enough? Am I strong enough? Can I handle it?

 

Time will tell

 

I’m also wondering if I should reach out to my parents about this? I want to tell someone so they can help to safeguard me in a fine line between binging/eating what I need, but I don’t want to freak them out. They have their own problems to deal with and pretty serious ones at that, so I feel they might not be able to handle it. But who do I reach out to?

 

Anyhow, sorry for the rambling. Thank you all for being here. I’m so thankful to have a support system like this in my life. Take care and enjoy the weekend!

 

 

It’s easier when it’s not you…

Did you ever realize how easy it is to give advice to people, but when the same situation hits you how hard it is to take said advice?

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m great at giving advice.  Don’t give up, push though, things will get better and remember I’m here for you – these are things I often find myself telling my friends when they hit a rough spot.  But when I’m struggling these words sound so empty.  I just wish the comforting words I told others would ring true for me at that moment.

Why am I saying all this? Because I find myself now facing a problem I never thought I would.  When my friends have faced this, I’m usually full of good advice. It’s easy for me to tell them to breath, that it’s not the end of the world, that things will get better in time. But now that I’m getting a taste of my own medicine – things aren’t nearly as black and white.

Since I’ve probably spiked your curiousity by now, I might as well get out there and say it – I’ve been struggling with binge eating A LOT recently. It’s gone from once , to twice, to three times a week. Now it’s more like 5or 6 times. And these are the times I actually “give in”.  Every day that I’m home alone is a constant mental struggle to keep myself away from the fridge, away from the chocolate in my cupboard, to focus on my hunger cues and not let food control me. But recently it feels like a losing battle.

I’m not restricting, I’m eating more healthy fats then I ever have, I’m allowing myself all the sweets I want. But there comes a point when you realize it’s not hunger- it’s a craving. No amount of fruit, banan’s, peanut butter, or other “real food” will satisfy my desire to eat cream cheese by the spoonfull. And I’m full, I honestly am and yet I find myself standing in front of the fridge mentally screaming at myself “stop, stop, STOP!!!!” but I can’t seem to.

My stomach issues are better overall, but after a binge session I’m back to square one. I’m lactose intolerant – yet I binge on milk products. At least I’m managing to keep away from the gluten for the most part -although that happens from time to time. The worst thing is a binge doesn’t end with a binge. It starts an unhealthy eating pattern that continues all day. So I’m either sick from binging, or in the process of binging, or trying to distract myself from binging. And the whole day goes down the drain that way….

I keep telling myself I don’t have time for this. The mornings are my study hours, after that is work. But 50% of the morning is wasted away fighting these urges. Currently aside from eating more I’m drinking 5-6 coffees a day and chewing gum like it’s my job just to keep away from the fridge. This pattern is destroying my health, wasting my time and absolutely shattering my self esteem. But how do I get out?

Right now I’m typing this as a desperate attempt not to raid the whipped cream in the fridge or the chocolate in my cupboard.  I already had a massive peice of birthday cake as “dessert” after lunch, chocolate at breakfast and more cake at snack. And I’m so tired of this constant mental battle. I used to think I have recovery so “together” – turns out I don’t. I tried telling my mom today, but I feel so ashaimed. I just broke down and cried, because I feel like she’ll never understand.

I’m scared, because for the first time I have no idea what to do about this problem. I’ve been reading up on it – and some people tell you to cut out sugar all together, other sources tell you to eat intuitvely. And all I know how to do is restict – but eating normally,  I don’t remember how to do that anymore.

I want to keep gaining weight and moving forward in my recovery, but binge eating and healthy don’t fit into the same category for me. I don’t want to restrict, the line has to be drawn somewhere.

Anyhow, just thought I’d get that out there. I appreciate this community and the fact that you are all very non-judgmental. But  if any of you have any advice to offer – it would be very much appreciated. Hope you all have a good day!

Edited : In my research I came across some very interesting articles (if you have time to read them I’d also be very interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter):

Why is bingeing not bingeing when you are recovering from restricted eating?

Weight recovered and still bingeing

Extreme hunger: what is it?

Did you know that…

Did you know that…

Eating a big (meaning 400 + calorie) breakfast makes a big difference in energy levels? (I always had this silly ED hang over that I wouldn’t eat huge breakfasts – something about saving calories for the rest of the day I guess. But when after eating a full breakfast I found I had loads more energy, wasn’t hungry 2 hours later and could actually focus on more important things – other then my belly)

Might not look yummy – tasted amazing. Pumpkin overnight oats with flax and raisins topped with peanut butter and cinnemon. Kept me full for a good LONG time

Walking is therapeutical. Had a bit of a rough morning with some family issues going on, so I decided to go out for a “chill out” walk. Let’s just say it’s something I’ll be doing more often, because I felt a million times better afterwards

Baking on the weekends is fun! Seriously, I baked more in the last 3 days then I did in the last 3 months. I forgot how much I enjoy it.

Rustic apple pie with a gluten free crust. I’m on a pie roll here

Double chocolate brownies

Birthday parties are so much funner when you not only bake the cake – but eat it too ( along with some brownies and oreos – I got my sugar intake for the year today – but I won’t tell if you don’t  And I have to say it felt great to be “in on the action ” instead of sitting on the sidelines luftfully eyeing everyone else’s treats. Time to live life!)

Birthday boy no. 1

And no. 2

It’s an awesome feeling to try on jeans in a store and have them actually fit. (Three cheers for weight gain in the right places  After all everyone knows you need a nice butt to go with jeans – gotta keep on working on it)

Biochem review is the best cure for my insomnia  (seriously 10- 15 minutes in the evening and I am out. Sorry, as much as I’m trying to like chemisty – I really don’t )

And speaking of biochem – time for a quick study sesh before I hit the sack. Hope you all have a great week!

Share a – “did you know that…. “from your week.

Apple or pumpkin pie? (In all honesty, I couldn’t pick – I think apple pie for breakfast and pumpkin pie for dessert.)